When I Felt Like I Was Drowning

Lately, I've felt like I was drowning.

It wasn't just the loss of my job last week. It was the fear that came with losing the security of a steady income. The anxiety slowly crept in, filling my mind with questions about the future.

The truth is, I had wanted to leave that job for a long time. It no longer fulfilled me. I stayed because it paid the bills, not because it brought me joy or purpose.

Now that it's gone, I'm left wondering how I'll provide for my family.

Every day I apply for jobs. Every day I work on building my small business—a dream I truly hope will one day become my full-time work. Yet despite all the effort, nothing seems to be moving. Doors remain closed. My hope was beginning to fade.

This morning, I sat down to pray.

Not my usual prayer, but one that came from a place of complete desperation. I poured out everything to God. I told Him about my fears, my uncertainty, my financial worries, and how completely lost I felt.

More than anything, I wanted to surrender everything to Him.

But I realized something—I didn't actually know how to surrender.

So I continued talking... and talking... telling God everything that weighed on my heart.

Then, in the middle of my prayer, I felt a gentle prompting.

"Be still."

As I became quiet, another thought settled peacefully in my heart.

"Take deep breaths, My child."

So I did.

I slowly breathed in... and breathed out... trying not to think about anything except His presence.

Then these words filled my heart:

"I know where you are, My child. I know the emptiness. I know your worries. But remember... I am holding your hand."

As I continued breathing, more words came gently to my heart.

"Breathe My love in, and breathe your loneliness out."

"Breathe My mercy in, and breathe your worries out."

"Breathe My strength in, and breathe your weakness out."

"Breathe My provision in, and breathe your negativity out."

I simply obeyed.

With every breath, the heaviness began to lift. The anxiety that had been gripping my heart started to loosen. My circumstances hadn't changed, but something inside me had.

For the first time in days, I felt peace.

When I finished praying, I thanked God and asked,

"Lord, what should I do now?"

The answer surprised me.

"Go eat breakfast. Take a shower. Do your laundry. Then I'll tell you what to do next."

It wasn't the answer I expected.

I was hoping for a detailed plan. A breakthrough. A miracle.

Instead, God invited me to take the next simple step.

So that's exactly what I decided to do.

Today, my problems haven't disappeared. I still don't know where my next job will come from. I still don't know how everything will work out.

But I know this:

God has not abandoned me.

He knows exactly where I am.

He is still holding my hand.

And when I feel like I'm drowning beneath the weight of fear, uncertainty, and anxiety, I can trust that He will not let me sink.

He will pull me safely through.

Thank You, Lord.